Finding my way

Technology has a wonderful way of creating an immediate change, but our hearts and minds have a harder time making the adjustment to a reality without pain.  Each day I realize the significance of this in new and different ways. For my entire life, I have experienced pain to varying degrees and to levels of incapacitation. And so, to suddenly have my life shifted from experiencing torturous levels of pain that made each moment extremely difficult to having levels of pain that barely register for me, is a mind blowing experience.  So although I enjoy sitting up, walking, going outside in my scooter, reading a book....I am spending long stretches of these days in bed sleeping because I feel exhausted.  Some of Tante Tobia's insights, coming from her background in psychiatry, have been helpful.  For so long, I have been involved in an epic battle against pain to preserve who i was as a person. Now that pain has been largely removed, I am no longer battling against the pain. However the pain has etched itself in my life and has impacted me in profound ways.  Therefore, I am just beginning the process of  "finding my balance" and  reconstructing or re-understanding who i am in the absence of incapacitating pain.  My challenge is to discover what 'normal' is.  This is both an exciting and daunting challenge.  Much of what lies ahead is unknown.